Mystery terrorists caught in Britain

A plot to blow up planes in flight from the UK to the US and commit "mass murder on an unimaginable scale" has been disrupted, Scotland Yard has said.

You are no doubt wondering at this point who would do such a thing? Could it be disgruntled Swedish welfare recipients? Annoyed Tibetan Buddhists? Canadian beastialists pissed off that the state doesn't extend them the "right" to have taxpayer funded parades when they marry their dogs? Brace yourself...it might come as a shock when BBC reveals it...

We don't know for sure, yet, because the BBC doesn't actually say who they were, except that we do get a hint from this:

"According to BBC sources the "principal characters" suspected of being involved in the plot were British-born. There are also understood to be links to Pakistan."

Well, that narrows it down to anyone who knew anyone who had communicated with anyone with something to do with Pakistan, so we can exclude a couple hundred street people who happen to be deaf and dumb. But wait, is this a hint in another BBC article?:

"This is not a case of one civilisation against another, one religion against another," [John Reid, Home Secretary] said.

"It is a case, in general terms, of terrorists who want to use evil methods against the rest."

He added there was a common cause "among all the people in this country from whatever background, religion or ethnic dimension".

This is startling. Bad people did this? We still don't actually know who did it or why, but we know at least that its bad people. Oh, and that it doesn't have anything to do with religion and that all religions don't like it. That's reassuring.

Apparently the BBC is as befuddled as to why these people planned it as the CBC in Canada was when our terrorists were arrested. This article doesn't say why they did it, nor did this one, but...aha! This one gives us a tad more information:

"Secretary Michael Chertoff...said the plot was "in some respects suggestive of... al-Qaeda".

This is confusing, because al Queda is...well...Muslim. At least I think it is, because in spite of the fact that Islam is a religion of peace, al Queda operatives always quote the Koran and bellow "Allah Akbar" before self detonating in crowded places. Its especially confusing, because Mr. Reid says in yet a different BBC article:

"Indeed internationally most of the people who have been massacred are Muslim, mostly men, women and children, and in places far from here."

Putting all this information together then, we can begin to deduce who the mystery terrorists are and why they did it. To recap, the terrorists:

1 are bad, or alternatively evil

2 are not religious

3 have ties to Pakistan

4 use methods suggestive of al Queda

5 plan to victimize Muslims

6 are home grown Britishers

It almost sounds as if its Guy Fawkes and his gang resurgent, except that he was Catholic and the terrorists are apparently not religious. And in any event I don't think Fawkes was targetting Muslims. It could be the aftershock of Wat Tyler's 1381 rebellion, but the "evil ministers" of that episode are mostly dead and almost all of Tyler's complaints have been dealt with by now. Could it be the IRA? No, there's that Pakistan connection that doesn't fit in...

Its beyond me. Anyone have any ideas as to who these people could have been?